


Minor Misunderstanding

by OmgItsA



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Meet-Cute, Misunderstandings, One Shot, Steve Rogers A+ Wingman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 14:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15887877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmgItsA/pseuds/OmgItsA
Summary: In which Steve tries to hire a hooker to date Bucky.





	Minor Misunderstanding

**Author's Note:**

> No Beta - mistakes are likely ;p

"I don’t get it Mel," Bucky seethed, "He's a fuckin' ass to you and you’re defending him?" 

Bucky was tired of the snide remarks, and judging looks his best friend kept giving his girlfriend. Steve was out of control- well ‘out of control’ for Steve at least. Bucky didn’t understand, Steve set him up with this woman. They went on four or five dates, Steve left for an extended mission for a few months with Nat, and when he came back was pissed to see the two still together. It was bizarre.

"I just…what if we didn’t know the whole story…" she mumbled in that _tone_ , the one she used when she’d done something she knew he wouldn’t like.

She avoided his stare by picking at a loose thread in the hem of her sweater. _God I love that sweater_. It was modest, but still hugged her curves in a wonderfully sinful way. He’d tried to get her to go without her bra, but that suggestion was quickly shot down. He should have told her it would make Steve like her. 

The trio had gone out to lunch today, and Steve was even more of an asshole than usual. He cut her off, ignored her, and even scoffed when she started talking about work. He’d be kicking the shit out of Steve at their sparring session tomorrow.

"What if _we_ didn’t know the whole story?" He asked skeptically, 

"What if _you_ didn’t know the whole story." She amended reluctantly. 

"Start talkin' Peach." He said flatly.

"He might think I'm a prostitute.” she said lightly while still not meeting his eye.

"A Hooker?" Bucky asked baffled, "Why would he think that?" His girl was good looking, but much too innocent to be a prostitute.

"Tony might have inferred that I was at that charity thing where I met Steve.” she sighed, “I didn’t exactly correct him." 

"Ok-" Bucky said, “Should be an easy misunderstanding to clear up. Why haven't you said anything?”

“I tried last week,” she mumbled, “He didn’t believe me.”

“You let it go this long? We’ve been dating for seven months!” he asked, “What the fuck Mel?”

“He was gone for most of it! And why are you mad at me?” she tried to deflect, “He’s the one who propositioned me!”

"Who else knows?" Bucky sighed, pinching the ridge of his nose.

"Just Steve." she answered, and then hesitated-

"Thank God for that." he sighed, that could have been really bad for him.

"Maybe Sam," she added reluctantly, “But I think Sam’s smart enough to google my name.”

"Fuck." Bucky cursed, running his hand through his hair, "We need to fix this, and you're going to do exactly what I tell you to ok?" 

She nodded looking guilty.

"First I need you to take your panties off.” he grinned as she started to protest, “Ah-ah-ah- not a peep from you Peach.”

She shot him a flat look before slipping them off. He let out an appreciative groan at the sight of her beautiful thighs. His girl was perfect, he could see why Steve picked her. She was definitely his type. Busty, blonde, with thick thighs, a fat ass and those sweet innocent green eyes. She was smart as a whip, and somehow always managed to paint herself into a corner. 

“Ok, Friday can you have Captain Rogers pop up ASAP- thank you!” he requested.

“Buck-” she started to complain, no way she wanted to go commando with Steve in the room!

“Oh no Doll-Baby, you had your chance to fix this, and you didn’t. Now it’s my turn.” he grinned, “You will sit there and look very apologetic while being silent.”

It didn’t take the other man too long to arrive. Bucky called him into the living room when he knocked.

“So, we need to talk about why you hate my girl.” Bucky said cutting right to the case.

“Bucky, you don't understand-” Steve started to defend himself.

“I do.” the man replied, “You think she’s a hooker. She’s not.”

“I _know_ she’s a hooker Bucky!” Steve declared, “I paid her!”

“You-? Seriously?” he asked turning to her, “You didn’t think to tell me that five minutes ago?”

"Oh well...he might have paid me" she cringed. 

"Jesus-God." Bucky cursed running his hands through his hair. 

"Only for the first couple of times we went out!" She insisted “I mean it was just a few grand.”

“How much did you pay for a couple of lousy dates?!” he asked Steve bewildered, “You’re a cheapskate!” 

"Why would you assume I’d be a cheap hooker?” she huffed.

"You’ve helped enough," Bucky said looking pointedly at her, “Please stop talking.”

She sat back giving him sad moon eyes while Steve looked at him with that determined ‘I’m right and I know it, and you won’t convince me otherwise no matter what’ look. The stubborn little shit.

“Here.” Bucky said reaching into his pocket and throwing a scrap of lace at the other man.

Melody let out a horrified gasp as Steve caught her underwear. 

“Mel isn't wearing any panties.” Bucky said trying not to laugh at the shade of red his girl was turning.

“This is supposed to convince me she isn't a prostitute?” Steve asked confused, and a little amused with Mel’s reaction.

“No,” Buck replied simply, before nodding at his girlfriend, “You ever see a hooker get that embarrassed over a pair of drawers though?”

“ _That_ was your plan?!” Mel seethed at Bucky as she shot up off the couch and grabbed her underwear from Steve. Steve looked at the other woman as she sat back into the couch stiffly. She glared at Bucky, a pretty blush on her neck and cheeks. Her knees were clenched together, and she was tense- not someone who was used to being sans underwear.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked- very confused, “Why did you lie about being a prostitute?”

“I felt bad for you.” Mel said quietly, before adding, “Actually I felt bad for the friend you were trying to set up with a hooker.” she amended glaring at her boyfriend’s laughter. 

“Tony said-?” Steve tried to explain, “You were ‘a lady of the night’ he used that exact phrase.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “He says that sometimes.”

“Why?” Steve asked pointedly when she didn't elaborate.

“Oh, I’m an astronomer.” she explained, “I worked with Tony on a project for NASA a few years ago. It’s just one of his stupid nicknames.”

“Oh god.” Steve said horrified, “Why didn’t you slap me?”

“You were so earnest.” She chuckled, “I could tell you genuinely cared about your friend. So when you said you really wanted to get your friend back ‘into the swing of things with a modern gal’-.” 

“Jesus Christ” Bucky mumbled.

“I thought I would just help you out.” Mel continued, “You were misguided, sure, but your heart was in the right place.”

“And the money?” Steve asked shaking his head in disbelief.

“Well, ok that’s a little embarrassing,” she sighed blushing more, “I was trying to fund some research. That’s why I was at the gala- I was just networking. One of my investors dropped out, so I thought...I mean...I thought I just go with it…We were only short a few grand.” she trailed off embarrassed.

“So you slept with me for money?” Bucky chuckled, “Babe I think that is prostitution.”

“No!” she said, “He said _not_ to sleep with you! So it’s technically just escorting.”

“Yeah that sounds better.” Bucky teased, he was enjoying this way too much for her liking. 

“I named him as a contributor along with the rest of the investors!” She said, “So really he just didn't get what he thought he was paying for…”

The two men looked at her with skeptical amusement. 

“I’ve done worse for grants!” she huffed before quickly adding, “I mean- no-not worse- just more degrading.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked looking at Bucky, both trying not to laugh.

“I mean-like I had to endorse a paper for a quack, I had to teach a class as a favor, those kinds of things!” she clarified, “Professionally degrading -not-not sexually!”

“What was the end game here babe?” Bucky asked amused, “Just wanted a good meet-cute story for the kids?”

“I wasn’t expecting to actually like you.” she mumbled, “Steve made you sound... kind of creepy, and a little sad.”

“Gee thanks pal.” Buck said flatly before throwing a pillow at Steve, “Why am I no longer surprised you had to resort to getting a hooker?”

“Well why would I need to upsell ‘Bucky Barnes’?” Steve defended, “The man described in history books as an infamous lady charmer?”

“I’m Canadian we _barely_ learned about you in school.” she sighed, “It’s not like you’re Captain Canuck or something!”

“Ouch.” Steve mumbled as Bucky scoffed loudly before muttering some choice words about the Canadian superhero.

“So your real name is Melody Lyric?” Steve asked skeptically.

“My parents are kind of hippie folk singers. They were convinced I’d take after them and pursue music.” she sighed, “My sister’s name is Harmony.”

“Oof, yeah that’s rough,” Bucky agreed, “We get this cleared up then?” 

“Good,” he said when Steve nodded, and Melody smiled, “I can’t have you acting like an ass to my fiancé.”

“You’re engaged?” Steve asked bewildered, “Since when?”

“Since now.” he grinned looking at his girl, “If she says yes.”

“Absolutely not,” Steve said grabbing the ring box mid air as Bucky tossed it to Melody, “And you think I’m bad with women?”

“Excuse me?” Bucky asked as Steve punched his shoulder.

“You don’t _indirectly_ ask a woman to marry you!” Steve insisted, “No wonder you sounded creepy and sad when I described you!”

Bucky looked at Melody, concerned with her silence. She was shocked, and was staring at the rind box in Steve’s hands. Maybe he had mucked this up.

“Babe,” he said grabbing the box from Steve, and kneeling in front of her, ”I don’t need an answer now. I can wait-I know it’s only been a few months, but you’re the woman for me. Everyday with you is an adventure, and I’d be the luckiest man alive if you-oof!”

She tackled him gracelessly onto the floor with her arms around his neck littering his face with kisses. 

“Yes, yes, yes!” she said between each kiss.

“Sorry it’s not going to be a super romantic sorry for the kids Doll.” Bucky muttered.

“I don’t know Buck, the full moon is pretty romantic.” Steve winked before leaving the two to celebrate.

“What-” she asked looking out the window, “It’s the middle of the day?”

“I think he was talking about something else babe.” Bucky laughed deeply. 

“I dont-oh!” she exclaimed as Bucky laid a smart smack on her bare ass. Her bare ass that was currently on display for the world to see, “Oh god!”

In her excitement she didn’t think about the skirt she was wearing, or consider how it would flip up when she tackled Bucky.

“I mooned Captain America!” She complained mortified, “This is your fault!”

“Aww come on!” Bucky said rolling her under him, “It’s not like he’s Captain Canuck or anything.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been trying to get the ‘one shot’ down lol. These are hard- i’m too wordy!


End file.
